Veggie & Appetizer Trays

Nothing makes me happier that making an appetizer tray that looks appetizing. How is this done? I have a couple tips of how I do it, I could be in left field but they've worked for me so far:

• Symmetry: You can't have weird amounts of different items on your tray. Either do them all the same or mix up the amounts so it looks funky but like you did it on purpose. Nobody likes a try that looks like it was made by a 5-year-old. 
• Color: Unless you're going for the green monster of jealousy tray, you don't want celery, broccoli, kale, and cucumber on your tray, and if you do have all of those elements, make sure you put different colors in between them. Have vibrant colors on your tray; make sure your products are quality. Wilted or mushy carrots and soft cucumbers simply won't do. 
• Flavor: Make sure the items on the tray go together in taste. Don't put flavors that clash on your tray. In the above tray I put salami, which is all good and fine, but next to the cucumber? Strike. PAY ATTENTION. 
• Shape: There are SO many shapes you can do: round, oval, square, octagon, you name it. Be aware of the amounts of your food, and make sure that the shape you choose flatters your amount of food. You don't want to choose a huge tray and not be able to fill it up because you ran out of products. Make the tray look overflowing and it will be more appetizing. Nobody likes sparse when it comes to eating. Except Victoria's Secret Models. But I'm not particularly concerned with their opinion. 

In the end, just HAVE FUN. This is your moment to be creative and make something beautiful. Let loose and let it happen!

Cherry Cheesecake Shooters

Through my whole life up until this point cheesecake was a great mystery to me. After a failed attempt at age 7 I have never tried to make this devilish desert again. Until now. If you get bucked, get back in the saddle. I tried this simplified version to start off, and let me tell you....hawt maam! Not only is it easy, but it is the most delectable product made from cream cheese I have ever tasted. I know you're crying. You're so happy to finally have a good cheesecake recipe. You feel like you deserve trophy wife of the year because your husband/boyfriend loves this as much as you do. If you happen to make this into a pie and you and your guy eat two pieces and you eat the rest after he leaves...do not fear. Make another pie and eat two pieces out of it and he'll never know. 

12 whole Graham Crackers (the 4-section Rectangles)

1 package 8 Ounce Cream Cheese

1 can Sweetened, Condensed Milk

1 can Cherry Pie Filling

¼ cups Slivered Almonds




Put the graham crackers into a zip lock bag and smash them with a rolling pin until they’re fine crumbs.

Spoon graham cracker crumbs into the bottom of mini wine glasses.

Add cream cheese and sweetened condensed milk to bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment and whip them together until fluffy.

Fill a pastry bag or zipper bag with the filing. Snip off the end and pipe a big helping over the crumbs in each of the glasses.

Top with a big spoonful of cherry pie filling.

To make into a pie, make the same recipe only put all the graham cracker crumbs into a pie plate and bake until slightly browned. Cool, and fill with cream cheese mixture. Top with pie filling and follow the above directions of repetition for the formula if you have an "accident."

Alton Brown Pancakes

Dry ingredients
1/2tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp kosher salt
3 tsp sugar
2 cup All-Purposed flour

Wet Ingredients: Mix together
a)4 Tbls melted butter+ 2 egg yolks--> mix together
b) 2 cups buttermilk (or yoghurt) + 2 egg whites--> mix together

blend lightly together until just mixed. Cook over hot, greased griddle.

French Bread

French Bread is a lot more complicated than I thought, but once you know a few little tricks, you will be well on your way to trophy wife status. Let's get real, how many women do you know that can make their own dang loaf of French Bread to serve with that perfect pasta combination? Well, if your pasta is already in the oven you need to get crackin, cause it takes a while to make this type of masterpiece.

It doesn't really matter what recipe you use, but here is the one I use...

French Bread	%	(original)	(scaled)
Water	61%	17	5.78
Yeast	2.75%	0.75	0.13
Bread flour	100%	28	9.47
Salt	2%	0.5	0.19
Malt Syrup	0.5%	0.13	0.05
Sugar	1.75%	0.5	0.17
Shortening	1.75%	0.5	0.17
Total Weight	169.8%	47.38	15.95

For my bakery class, we had to learn to scale recipes, so here is the original as well as the scaled recipe, it is all in ounces, good luck converting it. I hate converting so much I would spend the money to get a bakery scale before I actually sat down and converted all those stupid numbers. Anyways.

Oh yeah, use honey instead of malt syrup. Cause nobody even has malt syrup.

Make a well on the counter with the flour and sugar that has been mixed together previously. Place the salt and shortening on the outside of the well and the honey and yeast inside the well. Pour the water into the well and let sit for about a minute. 

Start circling your fingertips around the well, be careful of that water. For real. If you make a hole in your well and the water breaks out, you might as well make a hole in Lahontan Dam cause you can't fix that crap no matter how hard you try. 

By now you should have formed a soft dough. Knead it and stretch the gluten fibers. If you don't know what that means, google it cause it would take me too long to explain.

Let the dough proof for 40 minutes and then punch it down (release the sides from the bowl).

Form into a French Bread loaf and dust with flour. Let rise for 40 more minutes.

Make 3 slits almost parallel to the dough and brush with water.

Place in a 450 degree oven and steam 3 times in the first 10 minutes. 

If you don't have a steamer oven, simply squirt water on the walls of the oven 3 times in the first 10 minutes. 

Annnnnnnndddd. You gots yourself some French Bread!

Good job, you've graduated to master trophy wife.

Kabob Grillers

These are pretty simple for all you who like to look like you did a lot, but really a 5-year-old coulda done it. That would be me.

Just grab some chicken and cut it into cubes along with onion, pineapple, mango, and your favorite peppers. I throw these bad boys on the grill with some lawrey salt, restaurant pepper, and chili powder.

Done.

AND they taste amazing.

......Enjoy

Basic Bread Dough

If there's one thing every girl needs to know, it's how to make some bread dough. It's easier than pie (literally), and takes just a couple minutes. Here's the low down on how it's done:

In a bowl:
4 Tbl. Yeast
1 Tbl. White Sugar
4 cups warm water

Let this sit for about 2 minutes until the yeast is dissolved.

To this bowl, add:
2/3 cup Oil
2/3 cup Sugar

mix it in.....

Then add:
1 Tbl. Salt
9-10 cups Flour

Slowly knead the ingredients together until you've formed a soft dough. Let it rise for about half an hour. Knead it out and form it into buns, cinnamon rolls, or whatever kind of bread you're feeling like eating that day. Make sure you grease the pan, and usually anything I make with this recipe cooks for 30 minutes at 350 degrees. If you're making bread, I like to brush egg wash (1 egg, 2 Tbl. water) over the top to make it look pretty.

Have fun having everyone love you for making them yummy bread. If you really wanna score, wear heels and pearls while making it for your rich husband.

Burgers

Okay, let's be honest. There is nothing better than a huge burger. HUGE. With everything on it. You heard me. It's like heaven in between a square bun. Why don't we make one?

Grab your George Foreman and a pound of hamburger.


**Warning, this is college student status, so this recipe only makes 2**

Mix some seasoning salt and pepper into the meat, then separate the hamburger into two equal portions and shape them into patties. Place them on your heated grill and cook them up till they're not mooing anymore. (Unless you like it that way. If you do we can't be that good of friends, sorry).

Grab your burger bread (preferably homemade buns), slice them in half, and spread about a cube of butter over them. Okay...that was an exaggeration, but it gets pretty close. Turn your oven on broil and place the buns butter-side up on the rack. When they're done, spread mayonnaise on one bun and barbecue sauce on the other. Place your burger on it (hope you melted cheese and grilled onions on top of it already), as well as lettuce and tomatoes.  Put it on a plate so it looks pretty, if you were really feeling like a trophy wife you made homemade fries and root beer to go with it.

Now, take it to your table so you can eat it. On the way, make sure your drop your burger on the floor. Oh wait, that part was only for klutzy chicks. You can disregard it. Not like I would know about being an awkward child or anything.....

Enjoy your meal!(: